Think of how often you communicate with people during your day. You write emails, facilitate meetings, participate in conference calls, create reports, devise presentations, debate with your colleagues… the list goes on.

Also in the companies the emotions are contagious

Since the persuasion combines the suggestion with the rational demonstration it is possible to understand it like a rationalized affective reaction, when we manage in the world of the company and want to persuade in some action course, it is indispensable to identify the affective common elements of the groups, since these elements act like beliefs, expression of will or design of action.

In other words, the persuasion goes to the affections and handling emotions which is subordinated to an essential skill in the today management: the emotional intelligence. Today, the most advanced investigations of the modern cognitive psychology, they confirm the hypothesis of which the emotions are priority in the processes of development and human change.

The communication barriers are done of good intentions

A common error is to want to persuade individual and separately to the members of a group that has already developed intense forms of solidarity. These tactics are sometimes lived like attempts of destroying or of dissolving the group and therefore the hostility increases.

A common mistake is use fear, anxiety, punishment or isolation to persuade other. It is known that the persuasion needs calmness, since to induce to new thoughts, to new answers, there is necessary the cerebral harmony that the focalización and the attention facilitates.

The persuasive communication can be learned

Firstly it is necessary to begin for meeting us in what it is named our social communication style, which gather together in four big categories: promoter, control, analytical or facilitating. We come to this knowledge for the perception of the others, they asking a small group to answer to a questionnaire on us, with the guarantees of the anonymity, this way to meet ourselves as they are perceived by the others.

Secondly we must learn to meet other, on the one hand identifying his social style and for other listening to it and observing it. It will allow us to go on to a crucial stage: the creation of a climate of confidence, to create a propitious ambience to the persuasion, projecting reliability, opening, acceptance of other and authenticity. For it we must discover which our strong points are in the skills to create confidence.

Also it is possible to learn other skills, such like handling the well-known resistances that the persons raise in a persuasion relation, knowing how to relieve them and to solve them, to apply the necessary interpersonal flexibility to act of a form adapted to the speaker and to the situation, to learn the stages of the process of persuasion, to know and to put into practice concrete action plans with definite persons.

Of the book “Getting Past No” of William Ury, which I have read in these days, I saw this concept that seemed important to me for a negotiation.

It is necessary to listen actively. For example, answer to the opponent “I believe that you said it in quite soft terms”

So that he different is sure that he understood him, it is necessary to paraphrase what was heard.

To recognize the point of view of the opponent, which does not mean to agree with him. The recognition communicates with phrases like: “In that it is right”, “I know exactly to what it refers”, “I understand what you say”, “if I was in his situation, it would see the things like that”.

Present an excuse, say “may I ask “: What can we do to compensate it?”

Project safety

To gain access without doing authorizations. Look for the way of accumulating síes. A form is to paraphrase and in the end to ask: Is this what you mean?

To put itself in the keynote, I See perfectly his point or I can form an image of what you say.

Give to the person recognition.

Recognize the authority and the suitability of his opponent: “You are the chief” or “I respect his authority” or “they have said to Me that you are the person who knows more this politics submerged”

Establish a work relation. If there exists the possibility that you have a conflict with another person in the work, begin to cultivate the relations with this person as soon as possible.

Express his opinion without making haste. “I understand why he thinks that way. It is most logical thing, considering the experience that it has had; but my experience has been different”.

Do not say “but”, say “yes… and”. “The price is very high” Normally are answered by us “But the quality of this unbeatable productoes”. It is necessary to answer “Yes, it is absolutely true that our highest price. And what you obtain for this price is major it is a higher quality, more reliability and better service”.

Do affirmations with “me”, not with “you”. “I feel that…”, “I disturb Myself when…”, “I uncalm down with…” and “I consider that that…”.

Defend his position. It is necessary to recognize the points of view of other and simultaneously to defend the proper ones.

Recognize the differences with optimism.

Idea 2. Achieve that another person says “Yes, yes”, immediately. When you speak with anybody, does not start by discussing the things in which there is difference between each other. Start by emphasizing – and you should keep on standing out – the things in which both agree. Keep on accentuating – if it is possible – that both have the same intentions and the only difference is of method and not of intention. When a person has said NO, the whole pride that exists in his personality is required to be consistent with it.
The skillful orator obtains from the beginning a series of YES, like answer. To discuss does not give benefits, it is a much more profitable and interesting glance the things from the point of view of the speaker and to make him say “yes, yes” from a beginning. Socratic Method: to obtain an answer of “yes, yes”. It was raising questions with which his speaker had to be convenient. It kept on gaining an affirmation after other one, until it had a quantity of “YES“ in your favor.
He kept on asking, until finally, almost without realizing, his adversary was meeting coming to a conclusion that a few minutes earlier it would have pushed back energetically. The one who treads with gentleness goes far.

Idea 3. Try to see honorably the things from the point of view of another person. Remember that another person can be mistaken completely. But they doesn´t know it. Do not censure it? What would he think, how would I react if I was in his place?
To be success dealing with the others depends on how you receive with friendliness the point of view of another person. In the conversation when shows that we considers the ideas and feelings of another person as important as the proper ones.
The way of encouraging the speaker to have the mind opened for our thoughts, is to initiate the conversation giving him clear indications on our intentions, and always accepting his points of view.

It is important, look at relationships as a business asset and competitive advantage. At times, it may seem that fighting, arguing, or screaming is faster and more effective than management coaching. Don’t be fooled. These tactics only lead to stress, fatigue, and diminished motivation for everyone. High performance, win-win partnerships, on the other hand, help the organization flourish and bring you personal satisfaction.

Mistake One – Don’t express your self

Too many people assume that the best way to build strong relationships is to keep quiet, keep your head down and eyes closed. The worst thing you can do when you have a concern or even sense a problem is to let it fester.

Recommendation: Ask, talk, and engage people in the spirit of inquiry and understanding. You don’t need to wait until you have an ironclad case.

Mistake Two – Delay

Some managers see coaching opportunities but procrastinate. They say to them, “I will make a move at the right moment when I am not so busy.” We rationalized that there will be an ideal time to talk. As a result, we do more damage as we wait for this magical moment to appear.

Recommendation: Keep people in perspective, and budget time to talk with them. Explore situations and find solutions to common problems.

Mistake three – Dominate

When some supervisors do open up dialogue, they are unable to control the floodgates. The conversation whips into a firestorm of accusations, venting, and anger, and lecture. The vast majority of managers inadvertently dominate coaching discussions by simply talking 75% of the time or more. We sometimes mistakenly feel that we have more to say, more expertise, and wisdom.

Recommendation: Plan ahead. Rehearse your thoughts in your mind. Don’t go on for more than about 30 seconds on any one point. Generally, when you spend more than 55% of the time talking, you are overstepping the boundaries.

Mistake four- Prescribe

Many of us take pride in our expertise. As supervisors, we feel that we have a lot to offer, and that we know what is best. We forget that management coaching is really supposed to help define the situation and facilitate an agreement or solution so that others can feel ownership. Once we begin selling our pre-formed ideas, our ability to brainstorm and participate diminishes.

Recommendation: Ask questions. Inquire before you advocate. Try to guide rather than dictate. Find out what the other person knows and what solutions they have in mind.

Mistake five- Denial

Too many leaders do not create two-way relationships. It is easier to see the faults and needs of others than to identify them in ourselves. This phenomena is called a “self-serving bias.” Encourage and seek out feedback from others. If you model a willingness to develop and improve, others around you will also.

Recommendation: Try to identify your contributions to the issues and concerns. Be open, up-front, and candid. Don’t get defensive if others see your own shortcomings. Thank them for their openness and willingness to speak up.

2 – Assemble the team when it has to give instructions or communicate an important fact: The only way of knowing that everybody knows the same and works according to the same rules is to assemble the team to give him instructions.

3 – Urge the team to which it rises questions: we know that he will want to give the instructions as rapidly as possible and that the whole world one starts working. But if it doesn’t leave that anybody rises questions, in a meeting or later, someone might confuse the facts, not value correctly the priorities or understand badly his instructions. Don’t forget that any members of the team would be prisoners of the panic and he doesn’t help them to think that with clarity.

If it doesn’t allow to them to rise questions to avoid to lose time, he will be asking them to face a crisis wrong information or an incorrect approach.

Support a serene tone. On having spoken to his team, take care of the voice tone. Although it is scared or stressed, his work consists of preventing the panic from spreading. Try that his voice doesn’t produce alarm and show them that it is calm so that they also it are.

4 – Make to inform the team in the making of important decisions: this is the ideal approach because it achieves that the people commit themselves with the decision and that it does all the possible why I worked. Obviously, in full crisis, it can’t lose time organizing surveys and debates to discuss what the best solution is to the problem. But try to involve the team the possible maximum thing.

5 – Be always close: if the crisis belongs to those who sadden or determine emotionally to the team, it is probable that the personnel needs to speak with you. It is possible that they are sad, frustrated and feel that they can’t communicate with you because it is much occupied to attend to them. For it, look for time to listen to them.

6 – Show to his team that it is on his part: insure of that the persons to his charge know that his well-being is a priority for you.

7- Never lose the sense of humor: the laugh is the best way of reducing the stress. If it joins the pranks or initiates them, the team will consider it an entertaining person.