Of the book “Getting Past No” of William Ury, which I have read in these days, I saw this concept that seemed important to me for a negotiation.
It is necessary to listen actively. For example, answer to the opponent “I believe that you said it in quite soft terms”
So that he different is sure that he understood him, it is necessary to paraphrase what was heard.
To recognize the point of view of the opponent, which does not mean to agree with him. The recognition communicates with phrases like: “In that it is right”, “I know exactly to what it refers”, “I understand what you say”, “if I was in his situation, it would see the things like that”.
Present an excuse, say “may I ask “: What can we do to compensate it?”
Project safety
To gain access without doing authorizations. Look for the way of accumulating síes. A form is to paraphrase and in the end to ask: Is this what you mean?
To put itself in the keynote, I See perfectly his point or I can form an image of what you say.
Give to the person recognition.
Recognize the authority and the suitability of his opponent: “You are the chief” or “I respect his authority” or “they have said to Me that you are the person who knows more this politics submerged”
Establish a work relation. If there exists the possibility that you have a conflict with another person in the work, begin to cultivate the relations with this person as soon as possible.
Express his opinion without making haste. “I understand why he thinks that way. It is most logical thing, considering the experience that it has had; but my experience has been different”.
Do not say “but”, say “yes… and”. “The price is very high” Normally are answered by us “But the quality of this unbeatable productoes”. It is necessary to answer “Yes, it is absolutely true that our highest price. And what you obtain for this price is major it is a higher quality, more reliability and better service”.
Do affirmations with “me”, not with “you”. “I feel that…”, “I disturb Myself when…”, “I uncalm down with…” and “I consider that that…”.
Defend his position. It is necessary to recognize the points of view of other and simultaneously to defend the proper ones.
Recognize the differences with optimism.
As chief you cannot allow to have in his team persons who don´t work correctly, any chief gives support to an employee when it sees the opportunity of a progress.
Coaching is the term used to describe the process of helping a person to improve his performance.
The coaching needs time and it is a permanent process. An interpersonal challenge always exists in the aspect of correcting performance shortcomings. Many interpersonal skills are needed in a coach to be successful.
Vacations are a good time to take rest and recover energy, but When this moment arrives, some managers don´t take the time or go out for a few days “stick” with the notebooks and blackberries…
The vacation time it is very important for a Manager, nevertheless be in the office allows him to resolve any issue inmediatly, this happen more often when the manager don´t know how to delegate. A Manager knows that it is impossible to do everything by himself, but sometimes them avoid to delegate tasks. There are four causes because manager don´t delegate:
Idea 1. The only way of winning in a discussion is avoiding it. Don´t try to demonstrate that the other person is wrong. Do you have to please him with that? If you discuss, fights and contradicts, can achieve sometimes a victory; but it will be an empty victory, because it will never obtain the good will of the opponent.
Think, then, about this: What does he prefer to have: an academic, theatrical victory, or the good will of a man? There mustn’t lose time in personal discussions. To prevent a disagreement from transforming in a discussion: Accept the disagreement (When two associates always agree, one of them isn’t necessary…).; Perhaps this disagreement it is an opportunity to be corrected before committing a serious error. Distrust on your first instinctive impression. Control your character.
First listen, allow to your opponent the opportunity to speak, allow him to end. Look for the agreement areas, exhibit first of all the points and areas in which you agree. Be honest; look for the points where you can admit and error, apologize for these errors, which will disarm your opponents and will reduce the defensive attitude.
Promise to think and analyze carefully the ideas of your opponents; and do it seriously, his opponents can be right. When two persons shout, there is no communication, only noise and bad vibrations.
Peter Drucker said
We spend a lot of time helping leaders learn what to do, we don´t spend enough time helping leaders learn what to stop…
Interesting, isn´t it?
